The Passenger

Over the last 24 hours I’ve started to feel very aware that my lower abdomen is loaded up with something. Up until this point it’s been an abstract concept, but now when I bend over to put my socks on I can feel something like a water balloon filled with something more viscous than water, wedged in there. If I move too suddenly I can feel a haggis-type object bobbing and shifting inside. I’m at once delighted and a little bit grossed out by it. I have visions of the baby’s head being squashed while I’m bending over to tie up my shoe laces. Heaven knows how I will do it when I’m nine months pregnant. Might invest in some Velcro trainers.

I’m pre-occupied with feeling ‘quickening’, because I should be able to around about now. I’m 80% sure I’ve felt it, but I can’t be certain. A tiny thud inside the womb. I’ve heard a lot of descriptions of what quickening feels like – butterflies, gas, an elastic band pinging on your insides. What I felt is hard to liken to anything except exactly what you would imagine it would feel like if a tiny hand punched you outwards from the inside. A less than helpful analogy, I’m aware.

Apparently the baby has patterns of sleeping and being awake now. I read that the baby often wakes when you are still, or about to go to sleep, and is lulled to sleep by the motion of you walking when you’re out and about.

This time next Monday I will be in my 20 week scan and the sonographer will be scrutinising the baby’s groin to see what flavour it is. And then all of a sudden, they will announce it and we will know (hopefully). How strange and wonderful it will be for us to be further introduced.


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