The ‘Womble’

Jake has tasked himself with giving our foetus a name this week, and his latest suggestion is: ‘The Womble’, A pre-birth name which will be replaced with a proper, real person name once he/she pops into the world (I like to use delusional expressions like ‘pop into the world’, imagining the baby as a champagne cork that will shoot out leaving me nothing but a little stunned and exhilarated). We need to promote the foetus from its previous title: ‘The Grubb’, as the little fella has been busy growing limbs and things since then. We also live very close to Wimbledon, so The Womble seems appropriate.

We have been debating whether to NCT or not and have decided to do it. The hospital offers antenatal classes for free, and NCT is pretty pricey, but all the parents we’ve spoken to said they’ve met a great network of friends through it, plus we want to experience everything around having a baby and not feel as though we’ve missed out.

Developed strong cravings for cakes, sugar, icing, cream, chocolate – basically anything sugar and fat laden. Been having verging-on-erotic dreams with sugary food stuffs as the object of my desire – my favourite was being held up by a criminal talking cat who forced me to keep putting my money into a giant vending machine full of Picnic bars, while he angrily meowed the word ‘picnic’ at me in a cat voice. The Picnics would come out and then we’d split them between us.


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