Work Christmas Lunch

Refusing wine at my work Christmas lunch was navigated fairly well today. We were seated on two, long tables so only the few people next to and opposite me noticed I was uncharacteristically on the wagon throughout. I was asked at one point whether I was detoxing, to which I answered that I was taking it easy as had been feeling ropey with a stomach bug all week. Considering I haven’t touched a drop of booze or a Marlborough Light for over two months, it’s rather unfair that my pregnancy symptoms are uncannily similar to the feeling you get the day after you’ve been on an all-night bender. Bouts of nausea, an erratic, pounding heart, breathlessness, fatigue, headaches and constant dry-mouth. Just writing about booze is making me want to heave on my carpet. I would honestly rather base jump from the roof of my cottage right now than drink a sip of Shiraz.

According to my health & parenting pregnancy app (which is bloody brilliant by the way), the baby is now the size of a grape, has graduated from being an embryo to a foetus and has grown most of the stuff it needs – including nipples.

Weirdly, I have completely gone off meat. Can’t eat, smell or think about it. Been vegetarian for about a week.

The last few days have been shaky. Visited an old friend who was back in the UK having moved to Doha in the Middle East a couple of years ago for work. It was her first born’s first birthday and her house was full of relatives, friends and bouncing babies. I was planning on telling her about the pregnancy but I’d woken up that morning and felt totally fine – no sickness, no food aversion. Naturally I jumped to the conclusion that the baby had died, and spent the day willing sickness to grip me once again to prove he was still there. Luckily my wish was granted the next day when it returned with a vengeance, but as a result I’ve remained tight-lipped on the matter for a little longer. Still waiting for the NHS to call me with a scan date.

To end I’ll leave you with the amusing anecdote that my husband is claiming to be suffering from morning sickness. I found this titillating to begin with, but now slightly annoyed as I am in real discomfort and he is trying to cash in on my right to sympathy. He claims it is a real syndrome that afflicts men. Something to do with the pregnant woman triggering a similar fluctuation in certain hormone levels within the man. I did a quick Google check and there do seem to be a few other men out there who have been affected, but until my husband gets so sick he has to stop chugging down larger and eating pizza – any sympathy credits with his name on will remain unspent.

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